“I love that journey for you”
– Alexis Rose
If you know the show, you know the song in a single note: The Schitt’s Creek theme.
Most people smile hearing those minimalist, melancholy tuba notes, but for me it evokes both joy and pain. This emotional duality exists because Schitt’s Creek was my medicine during an unexpected time of transition.
As it has been for many, the COVID-19 pandemic was the catalyst for a major shift in my life. On March 10, 2020, I received a message from my cousin who lives in Milan, Italy. He told me that Milan’s medical providers were forced to ration ventilators for hospitalized COVID-19 patients due to overwhelming need and lack of supply. At the time, the U.S.had a relatively small number of cases, but epidemiologists at Johns Hopkins projected that our trajectory would reach Italy’s numbers in about two weeks.
As a healthcare provider, this information disturbed me to my core. I shared my cousin’s message with my colleagues and expressed my concern about how our medical community would handle COVID-19. “Well, Italy is a red zone,” a colleague remarked. My face got hot. “How do you think Italy became a red zone?” I asked. The colleague replied, “What do you want to do, Megan? Shut everything down?”
Those words remain seared in my memory. One week later, the U.S. did shut down. It was decided that two providers needed to be furloughed from my office, and I opted to be one of them. I walked out for the last time on March 18, 2020, thinking that I would be going back to work once a safety protocol was put into place.
I never thought I would leave that job.
I had developed relationships with the women I cared for throughout my nine years there. I also had a profound sense of responsibility and loyalty, not only to my clients but to the practice itself.
I hadn’t realized it then, but I now know my deeply entrenched habit of putting everyone else’s needs first completely eclipsed my own while I was there. So, I left and began the process of navigating through a global pandemic and nationwide quarantine.
My family was in the throes of “shelter-in-place,” trying to get our minds off of the overwhelming feeling of doom. We started watching Schitt’s Creek, from Season 1, Episode 1. It became our anchor.
The Roses Were The Backdrop to My Professional Transition
Seeing another family being “up shit’s creek” and facing it head-on with humor, humility, and humanity bonded us as a family. We fell hard for the Roses and found ourselves imitating and quoting them regularly. It was common to hear,“Ew, David” and “I love that journey for you” with Alexis Rose’s tone and affectations. Watching the show gave me relief from the growing feeling of panic inside of me.
There is no point in discussing the details of what transpired at work. Conversations were had, but I had irreconcilable differences with my bosses. I knew in my soul that I had to leave my job permanently. I recognize that, on some levels, I am fortunate to have been able to make this choice. Still, the sudden and firm nature of my decision scared everyone in my life.
Why on earth was I jumping off this cliff with no professional safety net?
Because my inner voice was telling me that I had to resign. My husband and my lawyer could not talk me out of it. As a healthcare provider, wife, and mother, I had taken care of everyone else for 20+ years.
My soul told me it was finally time to put my own oxygen mask on.
I discovered that the land I was standing on was not only a cliff but scorched earth. Rather than jumping and falling, I found the courage to open my wings and fly, rising from the ashes like a phoenix.
Surrendering to the unknown can be frightening, which is why it is tempting to stay in a comfortably uncomfortable situation. The process took a lot of patience, meditation, walking, trust, rest, and more rest. I had to believe myself worthy of the life that my heart desired.
I now find myself on the authentic path of my dreams. I will be practicing in a college health center with summers off. Additionally, I am embarking on an apprenticeship in shamanic energy medicine, which feeds my spirit. As the inimitable Moira Rose said, “Fear not, she hath risen!”
I love this journey for me.
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