Anyone else in a season of saying “no” to things you never thought
you would (or could) say no to?
Earlier this year, a friend tagged me in an Instagram post about the power and importance of saying “no.” My instant response was:
I’m in a new relationship with no – and I am loving it.
I grew up, like so many little girls do, believing that saying no made me selfish, rude, or (gasp) somehow incapable. For so many years, I bought into the whole myth of having it all by way of doing it all – without ever once asking myself if I even wanted it all. As a result, yes loomed large in my life. The only thing better than a yes was a hell yes!
Throughout my life and across every role (daughter, wife, mother, friend, business owner):
Yes was a social and professional gatekeeper.
Yes was the price of admission for acceptance, approval, and belonging.
Yes was how I demonstrated that I was capable of carrying, doing, and being it all.
Yes was also my one-way ticket to irritation, resentment, perpetual busyness, and fatigue.
Late last year, I hit the wall with yes.
Just before the entire world shut down, I began an intentional practice of no with, well, pretty much everyone, including friends, family, and even clients. I’m slowly learning to stifle the go-to, knee-jerk habit of yes I’ve spent decades perfecting to carefully consider who and what I allow into my life. These days, if it’s steal my peace of taking me away from what matters most, it’s getting a resounding no. And not even an apologetic refusal that begins with, “I’m so sorry, I wish I could, but I can’t because…”
Two letters, one word, a beautiful, full sentence: No.
And I am loving it.
Today’s Soft Never
Today we’re putting a Soft Never on the belief that “yes” has to be our go-to reaction to everything. We’re shifting the lens on the belief that we can never say “no” to the things that steal our time and our joy.
What are you saying no to these days that you never saw coming? Share your Soft Never in the comments below. Or, connect with our team today to find out how you can be a Soft Never guest blogger.