Go Be You — And Other Things I’d Tell My Younger Self

“Go Be You. No approval or permission needed. No explanation or apology given.”
-Me Now to Me Then

What’s one thing you would tell your younger self if you could? If you could somehow go back and engage with a previous version of yourself, what advice would you offer, what encouragement would you give, what wisdom would you impart?  

Last summer, I stumbled upon a Jen Hatmaker podcast featuring Shauna Niequest. Sidenote: I once ugly cried uncontrollably in front of a very gracious Shauna Niequist in a Connecticut arena jam packed with women — and yes, it was as horrifying as it sounds.

Toward the end of the recording, Shauna offered advice for writers:

“Never write for a critic. Never write against what you’re afraid someone’s going to say about you before they say it. If you’re ever stuck, think of a person who loves you write their name at the top, and this is what I want to tell you.”

The Gifts That Come With Completely Mishearing Sage Advice

The “who loves you” part is important.

What’s funny is I was walking when I first listened to the podcast, I know exactly which traffic light I was waiting at in my neighborhood when I heard that sentence — only I didn’t hear it correctly.

I didn’t hear “think of a person who loves you.” Instead, I heard, “think of a person you that you love, write their name at the top, and this is what I want to tell you.”

I instantly thought, “that person I love whose name I want to write at the top of the page is me in my late teens and 20s.” 

It came to me so quickly; I took a minute to pulse check a bit and see if I truly meant it.

I realized I did mean it — and I still do.

Lowering The Volume on Never Showing As We Are, Where We Are

When I get stuck, when I’m not sure what to write, I’m very aware that I’m writing to my younger self. That version of me who didn’t know she could put a Soft Never on thinking she could never just show up as is. That 20-something who spent far too much time performing, people-pleasing, qualifying, conforming, explaining, and apologizing.

I didn’t always do such a great job of loving her well back then, and there have been so many missed opportunities, hurts, and consequences because of that.

But I love the hell out of that girl now.

Together, she and I are going to heal.

So, I write her name at the top of the page — and this is the very first thing I want to tell her:

Go be you.
No approval or permission needed.
No explanation or apology given.